Comfortable or Casual Relationships :- Sanjana Desai.

Comfortable or Casual Relationships :- Sanjana Desai.

Today s life is all about comfort and convenience. Whether it is about cooking ,cleaning , dressing up or even about maintaining relationships. This is the age of achieving comfort zone in every aspect

but sometimes it is carried to     an extreme level

What defines the casual or formal level of anything? Is there a set code ?

These days I see  men wearing chappals almost for every occassion . How casual/ formal is that?Whether going for a movie or to a friend s house or for a wedding, chappals pop up everywhere😜😬.

I have even had the pleasure of seeing people wear such footwear to a formal restaurant or for a date too.comfortable I guess😀

Imagine my discomfort when I look at those relaxing pieces compared to my heels. Feel overdressed and snobbish. 😞😒

The fault I guess lies in the school of thought that I have been brought up with. I come from the services background where we could not be in night clothes at the dining table even  at home. We ( me and my siblings) were supposed to have proper table manners , whether at home or outside. I know some might find it too stifling but none of us thought so at that time and even now .

Today s formal eating starts and ends with a fork and knife , irrespective of how u hold it or keep it in ur plate after finishing the meal. Seven course meal etiquette is far fetched now.Well , I guess ultimately it’s only all about the food ending in ur stomach😂😂

Etiquettes and manners are secondary. Right??😜

I somehow feel that this casual attitude also seeps into relationships. The extra effort is missing . It’s rarity these days to see somebody going an extra mile for any relationship unless of course there is an ulterior motive.

I am not in any way criticising or looking down upon the set norm of casualness.

I am just penning down my observations on the way we are all evolving. Fast moving life has to have fast changing ways. Just a keen observation

  • Janesh Chhatbar

    yes. well observed. those efforts are missing in everything especially in relationships. chappals, yes they are being shown as too fashionable and attractive by the advertising media. actually i have grievances against the unethical advertisements too. they are the basic source of peoples wrong choices and perspectives. i wish to read more and more from you.

    • Sanjana Desai

      Thanks! I will definitely try to keep posting and I can see u that you very well relate to this

  • Hatindersingh Rajput

    Very well penned down the genration gap,todays youth may be of any standard think watever they r doing or wearing is ot will create a fashion statement inatead,and peoples who r very careful of their looks,look strangely at them,but u have written it beautifully the views of a confused human being who isn’t able to decide which side to lean,

    • Sanjana Desai

      Thanks Mr. Singh. I insist u should contribute ur views to this site too.

  • Rani Roy

    good observation, we tend to be casual in every way, it has indeed become a fashion hype. to wear costly tattered jeans n clothes etc.

    • Sanjana Desai

      Thanks . Yes Rani , and the same attitude seeps into relationships

  • Vikram

    Remarkable observation ….relationship analysis
    I just believe it.
    Seeing world in a different way.
    Oh mam your analysis are just deep like ocean.
    N your magical pen is not just a writing
    It’s like lord Shiva s …………

    • Sanjana Desai

      That’s v encouraging . Am glad u like it.

  • Vihar Solanki

    Some time manners and etiquettes are essential when we are with elder one ☝️…… again nice One ….. truth one 🤓 Madam Writer ✏️

    • Sanjana Desai


  • Bhupinder Kumar

    you have very beautifully surfaced a very significant issue which is wrapped in casualness ( So called fashion) …..I am wondering now to go deeper into this… to observe more… and see in which direction we are heading as humanity……

    • Sanjana Desai

      Thanks Mr. Kumar . Yes we all need to delve deeply

  • Harmohan kapany

    Just the tip of the iceberg. Casual can become indifference and sometimes required but not in relationships because it shows lack of empathy and little things are indications of bigger issues.

    • Sanjana Desai

      Thanks Harmohan! Yes this was not even the tip. Rather just an observation

      • Harmohan kapany

        Good observations. I have personally been to places where I have been denied service in different parts of world and completely ignored if was not dressed well and that too not because of my traditional Indian clothes.
        In relationships not making extra effort is indifference in new relationships and lack of effort in maintaining is a sign of laziness unless there is a health condition.
        I don’t care attitude is a sign of a dead relat

        • Sanjana Desai

          Am glad you caught the crux of my write up.Its all about cannot care less attitude , be it clothes , relationships or anything else . The moment we start saying I don’t give a damn about others, is the time we stop making small efforts . Thanks

  • Subhash Kapoor

    Dear Sanjana ji
    Well written and appears to be an innovative subject.
    Let me say few things
    I have been to many get togethers in India and in Canada USA and Europe also. I always go with what I like to wear top to bottom without giving a damn where I am headed to. I have been amongst the highest in society at times. I eat with my fingers without using the cutlery even when I am amongst the local people here. I have taught them the fun of eating with fingers.
    The people around get attracted to friends who are socialable and will mix up with friends who have things to talk, and have knowledge and fun to share. Clothes and shoes will be the last thing to be talked and worried.
    CM of Delhi, you know what he wears.
    Dev Anand and Raj Kapoor would have been loved in 60’s by the girls even if they were barefooted
    Do what you like but make sure you exhibit enough self confidence in yourself

    • Sanjana Desai

      Agreed to it ! But see it as comparitive to casual attitude in relationships. There also ‘ can’t care less’ attitude is siminating

      • Subhash Kapoor

        Thanks for response
        Please tell me why same rules will not apply to relationships and ratings.
        Sincere relationships will value brains rather than wears

        • Sanjana Desai

          Not in that sense Mr. Kapoor. Relationships tend to be treated casually .The extra effort to keep it going or to maintain it is somehow lessening. I am not comparing casual attire with casual relationships but rather using it as symbolic to the treatment of attitudes